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Depression and suicide support.


As many LBP’s suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide the following is a list of hotlines and webpages to reach out to when you’re in need. Depression DOES NOT have to be a life sentence. Your kids will not see you again if you’re not here.

NEVER GIVE UP


Australia

Lifeline. 131 114 https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/get-help-home?gclid=CI65l_ezodQCFYiBvQodFVIF5g

Beyond Blue. 1300 22 46 36 https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention

New Zealand

  • LifeLine NZ  09-5222-999 within Auckland
  • LifeLine NZ  0800-543-354 outside Auckland

U.K.

The Samaritans  08457-90-90-90

Breathing Space http://breathingspace.scot/ Tel: Helpline 0800 83 85 87 Mon-Thu 6pm-2am, weekends Fri 6pm-Mon 6am Free, confidential, phone service for anyone in Scotland experiencing low mood, depression or anxiety. Managed by NHS 24, it listens, offers advice and provides information.

CALL (Community Advice & Listening Line) http://www.callhelpline.org.uk Tel: Helpline 0800 132 737 24 hours, 7 days a week or text ‘help’ to: 81066 Mental health helpline for Wales, offering a confidential listening, support and information service for anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) http://www.thecalmzone.net/ Tel: Helpline 0800 585858 5pm-midnight 365 days a year Email: info@thecalmzone.net PO Box 68766, London SE1P 4JZ Registered charity which seeks to prevent male suicide. Provides information and support through helpline and webchat.

SupportLine http://www.supportline.org.uk Tel: Helpline 01708 765200 Email: info@supportline.org.uk PO Box 2860, Ilford, Essex, RM7 1JA Confidential telephone helpline, offering emotional support to any individual on any issue.

  • CHILDLINE  0800-1111
  • Family Line  0808-800-5678
  • Papyrus Hopeline  0870-1704000

Northern Ireland

  • Childline  1-800-666-666 -0800-1111
  • Contact Youth (counselling for young People)  028-90457848
  • Samaritans:  1-850-60-90-90 (National number charged at local call rates
  • Young Persons Advice line:  0808-808 5678
  • Youthline:  0808-808 8000
  • Zest for the prevention of suicide Londonderry – 028-71266999

Scotland

  • Age Scotland:  0845-125-9732
  • Breathing Space Scotland:  0800-83-85-87 – particularly for young men who may be feeling suicidal
  • Edinburgh Crisis Centre:  0808-801-0414
  • Interactions Counseling & Support Services:  01592-262869
  • Lothian LGBT Helpline:  0131-556-4049
  • NHS 24 HR Helpline:  08454-24-24-24
  • NHS INFORM Scotland Helpline:  0800-22-44-88
  • The Samaritans:  08457-90-90-90

U.S.A.

Crisis Text Line 741 741  http://www.crisistextline.org/textline/?gclid=COe7_4K2odQCFRAEKgodvoYFkQ

Suicide Prevention Services. 800 273 8255 http://www.spsamerica.org/

The Trevor Project Lifeline 866-488-7386

U.S. National Suicide Prevention LifeLine 1-800-273-TALK

Canada

The Lifeline Canada Foundation https://thelifelinecanada.ca

Alberta Crisis Line 403-266-4357

British Columbia Crisis Line 1-800-SUICIDE

British Columbia Mental Health Support 310-6789

France

National crisis line  01-45-39-40-00

China

  • Beijing – Befrienders 03-5286-9090
  • Hong Kong – The Samaritans 2896-0000
  • Shanghai – Life Line 021-6279-8990

India

  • SNEHA A Link With Life 91-44-2464-0050

Japan

  • Befrienders Osaka  81-066-260-4343
  • Children & Families  03-4550-1146
  • Counseling Center  03-4550-1146
  • Life Line Tokyo  03-5774-0992

Netherlands

  • National crisis line  0900-1450

 

 

 

 

65 Replies to “Depression and suicide support.”

  1. It is truly a great and useful piece of information. I’m happy that you simply
    shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed
    like this. Thanks for sharing.

  2. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which was signed by Japan in 1994, has already recognized that a child has a right to access both of their parents. Article 9, Section 3, mandates: “States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child’s best interests.”

    Sadly, the children’s human rights enshrined in this treaty have yet to be recognized in Japan.
    http://shingetsunewsagency.com/…/japan-failing-to-meet-com…/

  3. The biggest fight against parental alienation has officially started with the launch of a new campaign group with connections across the world.

    On the run-up to the launch the National Association of Alienated Parents has already sent out a 175 page document demanding the law is changed to protect children and parents alike when a marriage or relationship hits the rocks.

    The document – which you can read here https://www.consumerwatchfoundation.com/category/parental-alienation-the-report/ – has been put together by lawyers, psychologists and alienation experts and has been sent to social services, Cafcass, Britain’s courts and Parliament.

  4. Excellent read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing a little research on depression. And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him. Therefore Thank you for lunch!

  5. Shrouded in layers of complexity—ordeals in divorce and custody play out that often leave one to wonder whose interest they have in mind when determining outcomes.

    Often times the players you find arguing before the courts in these types of cases are quite familiar and comfortable with one another—the faces and names appearing and tasked with hearing the facts and finding just solutions are regulars in these courtrooms. While each case is unique—the treatment, mannerisms and how they play out is bizarrely not!

    What happens when outcomes take a backseat to convenience, money and in many cases systems of patronage?

    https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/broken-system-obstruction-parental-rights-lbkr/

  6. The aim of the Conference is to provide a forum for presentation and discussion of the last research, professional practice issues and developments in understanding parental alienation. The Conference is for practitioners and researchers who are interested in learning more about what parental alienation is, how to identify it and what to do about it. The conference will include keynote presentations from Dr Demosthenes Lorandos, Karen Woodall and Nick Woodall who are world renowned experts in parental alienation. The conference will showcase current research and professional practice issues on parental alienation.

    On Thursday 18th and Friday 19th October, there will be two workshops:

    https://parentalalienation.org.au/conference

  7. Psychologist Yulia Chentsova-Dutton likens depression’s constellations of symptoms to the starry sky. It’s the same universal experience of suffering, the same black vastness above our heads dotted with bright and dim lights. However, when we look at the night sky, as with the expression of depression around the world, we might notice some stars and miss others depending on where we are.
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-cultures/201712/how-culture-affects-depression

  8. Fathers who are more involved with their kids, particularly through play, contribute to the development of children who are often better able to regulate their own emotions and possess better social skills and self-control. Fathers’ involvement in child-rearing can have a large impact on the long-term development of children, and has been found to predict positive outcomes for children in later life. Well-adjusted adults tend to come from families where the father was involved in their upbringing. Children from homes with a supportive father tend to perform better academically, and this has also been correlated with lower rates of depression, reduced behavioral problems, and lower rates of substance abuse issues. Father involvement should be considered a protective factor for children that aids in the development of resilience and mitigates certain psychological and social risks in adulthood.
    http://onthemarc.org/blogs/22/500#.WyOX-FUzaM9

  9. The G7 Kidnapped to Japan Reunification Project is international in scope with members who are parents from several countries including Canada, France, Germany, Italy, the United Kingdom, and the United States. We are International Alliance Partners of this project https://www.kizuna-cpr.org/international-alliance-partners.

    The immediate objective is to put the Japanese parental child abduction issue on the G7 Summit agenda and bring about a rapid resolution to this crisis affecting the human rights of many children abducted to or within Japan.

    To achieve this objective, on April 26, 2018, we published an open letter addressed to 32 high-ranking government officials of several member states of the G7 as well as 23 press reporters working in those countries.

    The letter has been written in English, French, German, Italian, and Spanish, with Japanese translation pending, so that it can be accessible to concerned people of many countries.

    Here is the English text of our open letter:
    https://www.kizuna-cpr.org/g7-kidnapped-to-japan

  10. Sarah Wilson is a journalist, entrepreneur, and the New York Times best-selling author of “I Quit Sugar.” She is the former editor of Australian Cosmopolitan, and she blogs on philosophy, anxiety, minimalism, toxin-free living and anti-consumerism at sarahwilson.com. Most recently she published First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety.
    https://www.today.com/health/how-feel-liberated-anxiety-t131237

  11. Good post. I learn one thing more challenging on completely different blogs everyday. It can at all times be stimulating to read content from other writers and apply a bit something from their store. I’d prefer to make use of some with the content material on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a hyperlink on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Maybe it’s because you’re wrestling with anxiety, depression or some other mental illness. Maybe it’s because you’ve had your heart broken. Maybe you’ve gone through a physical or emotional trauma. Maybe you’re deeply grieving. Or maybe there’s no easily understood reason for why you’re feeling bad.

    Whatever the case, I want you to know that it’s OK if you’re going through a tough time. This doesn’t make you any less lovable, worthy or capable. This just means you’re human.
    https://themighty.com/2016/04/self-care-ideas-for-a-bad-day/

  13. One of the first impressions we get when we set foot in a new culture is how different things are. We spot the obvious first: the buildings, the language, the food, the air. As we unpack our bags and make new friends, our vision sharpens. We move our gaze away from our physical environment to the people who inhabit it. We notice the fine-grained nuances of their ways—how they cover their mouths when they laugh, how they bow when they say goodbye. We observe how they work and how they live, how they talk and how they feel. It takes many seasons of marveling and memorizing these differences, until one day, the foreign morphs into the familiar and their ways become our own
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-cultures/201803/how-culture-shapes-emotions

  14. “By being thoughtful about the high points of your life. Ask yourself: Why did I feel that? Was it because of the person I was with? Because of the thoughts I was having? Because of what I was doing? Once you discover what it is that makes you feel like that, try to make more space in your life to recreate those feelings. Relationships are essentially the same – you have to decide whether the person is going to enrich your life or deplete it. Once you get an idea that yes, this is a relationship that’s worth dedicating my life to, try to act on it and show how important it is to you. We can have relationships that last a lifetime and get richer with time.”
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-cultures/201804/flow-and-other-secrets-happy-life

  15. Poets and philosophers have long mused about the universal and idiosyncratic signature of our emotions. The human family shares a similar biology. Yet, culture leaves an undeniable imprint on our emotional narratives, including the way we feel and think of distress, how it manifests and how we cope with it. In her cross-cultural research on depression, psychologist Yulia Chentsova-Dutton likens depression’s constellations of symptoms to the starry sky. It’s the same universal experience of suffering, the same black vastness above our heads dotted with bright and dim lights. However, when we look at the night sky, as with the expression of depression around the world, we might notice some stars and miss others depending on where we are.

    Here is Dr. Chentsova-Dutton in her own words on culture’s multifaceted influence on depression.
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-cultures/201712/how-culture-affects-depression

  16. “For the first time, the State Department has held Japan accountable for its repeated failures to return abducted American children, including the Elias children who were abducted from their family in New Jersey in 2008,” said Rep. Smith.
    The State Department on Wednesday released its Annual Report on International Parental Child Abduction—by a law Smith authored in 2014—the Sean and David Goldman International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act (P.L. 113-150). The report listed Japan as “non-compliant” with their duties under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.
    https://chrissmith.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=401114

  17. We can not do enough to raise awareness of depression and help those who suffer from it. Such a devastating disease.

  18. I’ve thought about ending it all so many times. But I’ve pulled through. All I can say is life gets better. Don’t give up.

  19. Too many lives have been tragically lost to the black dog. I know I”ve struggled with it for much of my life. Thank you for this episode and for giving us hope.

  20. I lost my husband due to depression. It’s such a devastating illness, thank you for offering help and advice to those who have it. I wish Dan had people like you.

  21. So many people used to tell me to just ‘man up’ and ‘be happy’. I’m glad we have people like you raising awareness of what depression really is.

  22. The cascade of generations of divorces is revealed in this story! She shares the emotional impact divorce may have on the emotional development of the child.

    Several family members have experienced divorce, more than one time. A sad family legacy. Children learn from watching their parents. Parents are modeling how relationships are suppose to work. If a child observes parental conflict on a regular basis; they are likely to view fighting as normal behavior between a husband and wife.

    Divorce is between the parents-ABOUT THE CHILD! LOVE WINS!!!

    .

    I am the child of multiple generations of multiple divorces. Both of my grandmothers, who were born around 1900, were divorced twice. My mother was divorced twice, and so was my father. I’m not sure about my grandfathers; I think one was divorced twice.

    I grew up thinking marriage was a bad idea, but my boyfriend was afraid of displeasing his parents, insisted on it, so we married. And divorced.

    I became Christian, and realized that bad marriages didn’t mean that marriages were bad. So I married an intermittent alcoholic. And divorced.

    My younger sister refused to legally marry, but was “divorced” several times before finally officially marrying in her late 30’s. She stays married because it is a good business arrangement (to quote her), but is divorced in her heart, and is waiting for her husband, who has a cardiac problem, to die.

    Since my parents didn’t get divorced until after I left home, you could say I am not a child of divorce. But then, my father made it very clear to my mother on their honeymoon that he would never treat her as a wife.

    My younger sister is a child of divorce, and she is worse off emotionally than I am. She smiles and sparkles, and is extremely successful, but is also emotionally dead, and incapable of genuine love.

    She did make sure her children had a stable home. Perhaps they will be the first members of our family in over a century not to divorce.

    Please. Don’t.

  23. ‘My parents divorced when I was a teenager. As the eldest of three sisters, I was my mum’s confidante. You grow up fast working out how something went wrong.’

  24. ETER HUHNE, son of former cabinet minister Chris Huhne

    Devastated over his parents’ marriage break-up, his father’s infidelity and lies about a speeding offence, Peter [pictured with his mother Vicky Pryce] said to him: ‘So nice to see our entire relationship reduced to lies. Do you take me for an idiot? The fact you said your parents were happier as a result of their divorce was disgusting’ You are the most ghastly man I have ever known.’

  25. I remember the night that my mother told me she was divorcing my father. It isn’t a very detailed memory (I was only 6 years old), but it is potent in its recalled pain and rage. I remember crying, striking out at my mother, telling her I hated her, and generally being inconsolable.

    I remember literally nothing of the court battles over visitation that followed, although they went on for the next 6 years. Somehow, I have blocked or lost those memories (I know high stress causes poor memory formation), but the basic visitation pattern that was established over that period was for every-other weekend Friday-Sunday visitation with my Dad for my brother and me. He’s 4 years younger, and thus has no memories of the actual divorce (or the time before it) – his experience and story of his childhood is different than mine, and I do not insist that he make my story his.

    At the same time, I have come to understand that what I experienced during those years amounted to nothing less than continuous and pervasive emotional manipulation and psychological abuse that has left me with wounds the depth of which I am still sounding.

    People who grow up in a PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) household have a lot in common with people who grow up in cults. One of these similarities is the presence of dogma – elements of unquestioned faith that must be adhered to. In out case, first and foremost among these was that my father and his entire side of the family were dangerous, compulsive liars who only wanted to see us in order to hurt my mother.

    The only reasons I (I cannot speak for my brother) was ever given for the divorce were:

    Your father is a liar, a compulsive liar, who never does what he says he will (no details – just the assertion)
    He and his family have never been able to accept your brother – they thought it would be better if he had died at childbirth (my brother was born with a slightly smaller left hand, and a missing left pectoral muscle – Poland Syndrome)
    As the older child, I was explicitly tasked with “protecting” my younger brother. This meant that it was my responsibility to call in to check with my mother every day that we were with our father. This would protect us against the kidnapping that she told us might occur if we weren’t so vigilant. We were absolutely not allowed to leave town for a vacation with my father or his family – my grandparents on that side owned vacation property near Lake Havasu, for example, and we were never, ever permitted to see it. My father was also a civil pilot at that time (non-commercial), and we were not allowed to ever fly with him – again, the threat of kidnapping.

    The one time I DIDN’T call in to check with my mother, she called the police and told them that she feared her kids were being taken by their non-custodial father – the cops showed up at my dad’s house, and I’m sure that helped cement and validate my sense of threat. My dad had remarried by then, and I’m glad my half-brother was too young to remember that.

    In between visitations with my dad, we were subjected to a constant litany of complaints and criticisms about him from my mother and my maternal grandmother. More, there was a canticle of responses that we were trained and coached to make. If someone asked us about whether we missed our father, we would reply “it would have been great to have a dad, but not the dad we had.”

    We were told that he was always late with child support payments – he never was, my mother was just terrible with money and it made for a good excuse when the power or the water got turned off.

    We were told that he never sent us gifts – I later discovered that he absolutely had, and that my mother had no-doubt thrown them away.

    Worst of all – when my father sent us birthday cards, only those for ME made it through. The ones for my brother were intercepted, and this was then presented as proof of their monstrous rejection of this poor little boy with a small hand and speech impediment.

    We were also coached to explain that we had lots of great male role-models in our lives (my maternal grandfather and uncle), who more than made up for the loss of this so-called “father.” We were encouraged to refer to him as our “biological father” and it was extremely clear that his only possible worth or contribution was as a sperm donor. Eventually, both of these men would be knocked off the approved list as well, and they would be erased from my life.

    Within a very short time after the divorce, I truly hated my father and held him in boundless contempt. My brother and I would do everything we could to make our time with him as unpleasant and brief as possible. Excuses were made to skip visitation as often as possible, and when he insisted, I was as much of a little bastard about it as I could think to be. We were also encouraged to spy on him, and we would be rewarded for reporting back anything that could be twisted into a failing or a criticism.

    We were encouraged to be cruel. Here’s a small example – my father had a Volkswagen bug that he drove for a number of years, and my brother and I would fight, every time, over who got to sit in the BACK seat – furthest from our father. I remember the day that my father, in pain, turned and said “stop it! I know what you’re doing!” The guilt for that and similar cruelties haunted me then and still does now. It’s part of what I’m working through.

    Living in a state of continual one-way warfare with my father, and being encouraged to attack using whatever means were available, took a huge toll on my childhood. From 2nd grade forward, I continuously struggled in school – both academically and socially. I was bullied and isolated with no real friends. Part of that was due to my mother as well – we were Jewish in a part of town that had very few Jews, and she would create a huge incident any time a school put up anything to do with Christmas. I was not allowed to participate in singing carols or similar – when the class began to practice, I would be sent to the library and then called back when practice was done. Seeing the weird, loner, skinny, Jewish kid stand up and walk out of the room brought me to the attention of the bullies. As much and as cruelly as I punished my father, I was punished by these bullies at school from the 2nd through the 8th grade.

    Towards the end of the 6 year period, my brother and I were in court-ordered family counseling with our father in order to improve our relationship. By this time, I was 12 years old in 7th grade, and experiencing the worst of all possible worlds. I was failing in school, was utterly isolated and without friends, was being bullied on a daily basis (being punched and spit-on were the most common forms as a “jew-boy” or “kike”).

    I remember the coaching sessions with my mother and brother before what ended up being our last meeting with our father. Our strategy was to present the argument that a regular visitation schedule was just too onerous for my busy schedule (I had zero out-of-home activities), and that it would be far better if my dad could just call up every now and then and ask if he could see us on some specific day – like a date. To 12 year old me (living in the cult for 6 years), that sounded reasonable – and, if and when he objected to such a reasonable suggestion, that would be proof of his unwillingness to compromise and his inherent cruelty.

    Our last meeting took place in the office of the court-ordered psychologist who had been working with my father, brother, and me for about a year. My grandmother (a truly frightening person – she and my mother were inseparable in pretty much everything) drove us to the office and waited in the waiting room. Once in the office, I made my pitch to my dad – his response to my “…how does that sound?” was “I think it sounds pretty shitty.”

    I leapt from the sofa – shouted “then you can go to hell!” and burst out of the office. I ran to the bathroom and kicked and punched the stall walls until they were visibly bent. My grandmother took us home, and within a few days my mom told me that I had finally won – my father was dropping all of his custody and visitation battles. I used to tell that story of the office with great pride in standing up to the monster and finally getting him out of our lives. I feel very differently about it now.

    It wasn’t until 17 years later, when I was contemplating marriage of my own, that I became open to connecting with my dad.

    I was working as an actor at a dinner theatre, and one night my father’s wife, my step-mother whom I barely remembered, came to the show with a message that my dad would love to talk with me if I ever wanted to. She brought their number and left it with me. I was polite, but cold and distant. I had no intention of calling, but I kept the number. It as more than a year before I called it.

    Just before I got engaged to my now-wife, I began to think that I really should at least meet my father before I became one myself – even if only to see how NOT to be a dad.

    I called the number, and we arranged a neutral place to meet – we had coffee at a small sidewalk cafe and talked for more than an hour. We didn’t even begin to touch on our relationship or history – we just talked and tested the waters. He seemed really nice, smart, and he was obviously deeply moved to be with me – there were tears in his eyes more than once, even though we were talking about mundanities, mostly.

    Since then, he has become an integral part of my life – he is grandpa to my children, and dad to me, now. I love him, and I deeply mourn the years we lost together and the life we might have had.

    I’m still in the process of uncovering all of the lies my mother and grandmother told me – as I said earlier, both my grandfather and uncle were eventually subjected to the same behavior, and I only found out the truth about them well after I was married and with children of my own.

  26. After research a number of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I really like your approach of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site record and will be checking again soon.

  27. Take a step in the right direction and try co-parenting. I know sometimes it may seem impossible and you might feel like your doing it alone, but it will get better. When I first started my journey there were many times where I felt defeated and wanted to give up. Heck, sometimes I still feel like that, but then I think of my beautiful son and I know he deserves both his mommy and daddy. I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I’m doing it well… or at least I’m trying too!

    .

    Co-Parents R Us.

    Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Coparentsrus?fref=nf

  28. Confess your feelings of betrayal, fear, heartache or humiliation that you have experienced in your divorce or co-parenting situation.

    Share a setting that you regret or a situation that may have caused anguish, misery or sorrow for your co-parent. Or, reveal actions that may have promoted emotional pain or unhappiness for your child.

    Confessions are not limited to heartache only. Please share heartwarming moments and happy experiences you have experienced in divorce and shared parenting too! Perhaps, something your co-parent did or said that has enhanced your co-parenting relationship.

    Here is anopportunity to share the confessions about your divorce or co-parenting experiences. This can be something that you have told to family and friends or a private thought that has remained a secret…….until now. Focus on extreme moments of individual experiences.

    This is a place to confess what your co-parent did or said that led to your feelings of betrayal, fear or humiliation. Write about something that you enacted, a statement or a thought you expressed that caused grief for your co-parent, your child or yourself.

    We learn from others experiences and situations. Perhaps in reading these scenarios, co-parents can identify with issues they are also experiencing. Hopefully,one can see how some actions can have long-term negative effects and cause pain for their co-parent or child! Importantly, by reading these stories co-parents can see that they are not alone in the thoughts and feelings surrounding their divorce and co-parenting relationship.
    https://sharedparentingconfessional.com/category/a-childs-view/

  29. Some parents only exist with the hope and faith
    They will see thier children
    Parental alienation is the worse form of abuse

  30. “Are dads being airbrushed out of existence?” might sound like the sort of internet conspiracy theory dreamt up by men’s rights activists, angry dads in Batmen outfits, or even outright misogynists. Yet a report out today suggest this is precisely what is happening, at every level of the parent/state interface, when households recorded as single parent log no data on the parental involvement status of the fathers.

    Read more at: https://inews.co.uk/opinion/uk-fathers-airbrushed-existence-family-courts-favouring-bankrolling-mothers/

  31. I lost my brother to suicide. It was so heart breaking. I wish I knew he was struggling but he hid it so well. If you are suffering, please reach out. There are people that love you and will help you.

  32. One father’s experience:

    I was married for several years. She had children and we had children together.

    I came home from a biz trip. My ex was high and attacked me. This was not the first time she got violent with me. She told the police I was the aggressor, of course they believed her, so I ended up in jail.

    It didn’t matter that I have statements from private care-givers and teachers, or a GAL report suggesting that mother should have supervised visits.

    She is better at lying then I am at telling the truth-which makes it virtually impossible for me to get full custody of my kids. Unless, of course, I spend more money that I do not have (anymore). She has alienated my step children from me-kids who I loved as if they were my own for years.

    So many family vacations,& father/son type trips and now I have zero contact with them. I was forced to pay her Atty, my Atty, GAL. I pay thousands of dollars each month in alimony, CS, and half of all child related expenses. I pay all medical, dental and summer camps. I am asked (extorted) to pay for other random expenses. God help me if I don’t.

    My children are told not to listen to me, that I am a bad man, a loser, I do illegal things, I’m dumb, stupid, effin crazy, that I’m gay etc etc.

    My kids are told I don’t want to see them when they are with her, or that I am keeping them from there mom when she decides to “allow” me to keep the kids for the summer. She never contacts the kids when with me and blocks me from contacting my kids when they are with her.

    My kids are not allowed to tell daddy anything that goes on at mommy’s house. My kids are not allowed to call me, she even told the school not to call me.

    I am now known as the wife abusing, drug addicted dead beat husband which has me so comfortable living in the community and my children’s teachers have started to ignore me and/or my requests.

    I was accomplished and just started to reap some of the rewards for my many years of very hard work, all of which I had done before getting married.

    Before marriage I had my pictures in major newspapers. Now, since that fateful day my mug-shot is online for anyone to see.

    During my time with my ex I paid either to her, or for her, over a million dollars. I have lost my savings. What’s worse is that I am without the drive I once had. I suffer, I have an amputated spirit and my character has been assassinated.

    How does one recover after losing awesome step-children and 1 of my own children? She even tried to take the dog.

    Seeing my children slowly turn against me is extremely painful. Watching my children lie to my face is like a dagger thru the heart. I struggle daily at the thought of having to live in this tangled web of BS lies & deceit as I trudge my way thru the family court system as a single dad, which, is biased against fathers to say the least. It’s a nightmare of such epic proportions and way beyond my comprehension. It keeps me in such a deep depression that it’s hard to breath. I can go five days without even getting out of bed. My children have but one childhood and theirs is a crappy one.

    Wish I knew what I did to deserve this.

  33. A parent finds a pic in their 7-yr-old child’s school bag. Expressing feelings about a parents divorce may be difficult especially in high conflict situations. Sometimes a child can share their emotions and thoughts through art. Both houses appear on a hill at the same level indicating equality in their parent’s position (in their life and with power?).

    The child appears sorrowful and seems to have a pronounced frown. The arrows in between the thought bubbles show the need to accommodate both parents. Question marks in the bubbles appear as thoughts indicating confusion about the separation. Perhaps, even being placed in a position to choose sides. Curiously, the question mark on mom’s side is larger and the hill somewhat higher even though Dad’s house is taller.

    The figure has no hands possibly revealing emotional insecurity. No feet in a drawing may indicate a lack of control over their destiny or a sense of helplessness. This is a very unfortunate picture indeed.

    Sadly, this is one picture that will not be placed on the fridge.

  34. “I always experienced a tremendous feeling of sadness and hurt. I always had a feeling that no matter how hard you were trying and no matter how much time, there’s no way you can turn one or two visits a month into normal parenting. No matter how you cut it, you come up short and you feel it. You always come up a day late and a dollar short. It’s a tremendous sense of hurt. You want a full experience as a father, you want them to feel full love and you want them to feel it continually.”

  35. You already know how good exercise is for your physical health. But you might be surprised by how good exercise is for your mental health. Regular exercise has been shown to prevent depression and studies show that for treating mild-moderate depression, exercise can be as effective as talking therapy and medication.

    There are many ways that exercise positively influences your mental health.

    Exercise:

    promotes the release of feel good chemicals in your brain, like endorphins and serotonin
    helps you sleep better so you rest fully at night and feel more energised during the day
    gives you a sense of accomplishment as your fitness improves and you start achieving your goals
    is usually a shared activity with others so you get the added benefits of social connection.
    To reap these benefits, it’s generally recommended you do 30 minutes of ‘vigorous’ exercise at least five times a week. Vigorous just means you’re putting in enough effort that it’s hard to have a conversation while you’re exercising.

    Don’t get disheartened if these guidelines feel unachievable. It’s important to remember that while more exercise is better than less – any exercise is better than no exercise.

    Cartoon characters exercising in the park

    Of course, the hardest part is getting started. Especially if you’re experiencing a mental health condition like depression, where the idea of just getting out of bed can seem hard enough. Exercise can play a major part in and should be in your treatment or management plan.

    If you’re waiting for motivation to arrive at your doorstep before you start exercising you might be waiting a long time. The secret truth of motivation is that it actually comes after you take action – not before. By starting small and experiencing some benefits, you give motivation a chance to turn up and it loves riding on the momentum you’re building.

    If you’re feeling stuck, here are six tips for starting an exercise routine from scratch.

    Find your reason – you’re more likely to stick with a new behaviour if it’s linked to something you really value in life. Ask yourself, “why will exercise make my life better in a meaningful way?” It might be to help you overcome depression and get your life back on track, to gain more energy for your kids or to improve your general health for a longer life.
    Start small – and we mean really small. Just add five per cent to what you’re currently doing. If you’re stuck on the couch, just walking in your street each day is a great start.
    Make it part of your routine – the more decisions you have to make about when to exercise, the closer you’ll come to deciding not to. Timetable your exercise into your weekly schedule so you aren’t relying as much on willpower.
    Do something you enjoy – exercise doesn’t have to be serious. If you hate running or going to the gym, you’re unlikely to keep it up. Find an activity you enjoy (or at least don’t dislike) and you’re more likely to keep doing it.
    Set goals and monitor progress – it’s very rewarding to track your progress towards a specific goal. It makes every exercise session feel purposeful.
    Make a commitment to others – you’re less likely to opt out if you have a friend or team relying on you to be there.
    Most importantly, be kind to yourself if you haven’t exercised for a while. For many, this can trigger self-critical thoughts that lead to giving up the exercise routine entirely.

    Treat each day as a fresh start, and remind yourself that it’s human to drop the ball occasionally.

  36. If left untreated, depression and anxiety can go on for months, even years. The good news is that a range of effective treatments are available, as well as things you can do yourself to recover and stay well.

    Different treatments work for different people, and it’s best to speak to your GP or mental health professional about your options and preferences. If you’ve taken the first step and talked through some treatment options with a health professional, you might like to try a few of the following ideas for lifestyle changes and social support. Most people find that a combination of things work best.

    It’s important to remember that recovery can take time, and just as no two people are the same, neither are their recoveries. Be patient and go easy on yourself.

  37. With PA the child eventually figures out what ‘really happened’. This may occur during childhood or, as an adult. Either way, the realization that one parent played games and kept them away from the other parent is devastating. Often, the child of divorce stops having a relationship with the game playing parent.

  38. “I used to think I knew what evil was. And, then my child was taken from me, by someone who supposedly ‘loves’ them.
    There is no darker evil than that, and there is no greater threat to our human existence than our own bitterness bringing us to destroy those who we supposedly ‘love’.”

  39. This is a most unfortunate reality for some parents in a high conflict divorce. A drop zone created by the city to accommodate parents who will not be nice during the exchange. Security cameras are watching the area for any outbursts or abnormal behavior. Notably, there are many parents even missing out on this!

    How long is the 2 minute exchange? http://www.sharedparentinginfo.com/two-minute-exchange.html

  40. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” may be a rhyme; however, the reality is words do hurt. In fact, emotional and verbal abuse by a parent has long-term implications of which the victim may never fully recover. Physical scars may heal. Emotional scars created by harsh words may never fully go away.

  41. Types of depression
    There are different types of depressive disorders. Symptoms can range from relatively minor (but still disabling) through to very severe, so it’s helpful to be aware of the range of conditions and their specific symptoms.

    Major depression
    Major depression is sometimes called major depressive disorder, clinical depression, unipolar depression or simply ‘depression’. It involves low mood and/or loss of interest and pleasure in usual activities, as well as other symptoms. The symptoms are experienced most days and last for at least two weeks. Symptoms of depression interfere with all areas of a person’s life, including work and social relationships. Depression can be described as mild, moderate or severe; melancholic or psychotic (see below).

    Melancholia
    This is the term used to describe a severe form of depression where many of the physical symptoms of depression are present. One of the major changes is that the person starts to move more slowly. They’re also more likely to have a depressed mood that is characterised by complete loss of pleasure in everything, or almost everything.

    Psychotic depression
    Sometimes people with a depressive disorder can lose touch with reality and experience psychosis. This can involve hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there) or delusions (false beliefs that aren’t shared by others), such as believing they are bad or evil, or that they’re being watched or followed. They can also be paranoid, feeling as though everyone is against them or that they are the cause of illness or bad events occurring around them.

    Antenatal and postnatal depression
    Women are at an increased risk of depression during pregnancy (known as the antenatal or prenatal period) and in the year following childbirth (known as the postnatal period). You may also come across the term ‘perinatal’, which describes the period covered by pregnancy and the first year after the baby’s birth.

    The causes of depression at this time can be complex and are often the result of a combination of factors. In the days immediately following birth, many women experience the ‘baby blues’ which is a common condition related to hormonal changes and affects up to 80 per cent of women. The ‘baby blues’, or general stress adjusting to pregnancy and/or a new baby, are common experiences, but are different from depression. Depression is longer lasting and can affect not only the mother, but her relationship with her baby, the child’s development, the mother’s relationship with her partner and with other members of the family.

    Almost 10 per cent of women will experience depression during pregnancy. This increases to 16 per cent in the first three months after having a baby.

    Bipolar disorder
    Bipolar disorder used to be known as ‘manic depression’ because the person experiences periods of depression and periods of mania, with periods of normal mood in between.

    Mania is like the opposite of depression and can vary in intensity – symptoms include feeling great, having lots of energy, having racing thoughts and little need for sleep, talking quickly, having difficulty focusing on tasks, and feeling frustrated and irritable. This is not just a fleeting experience. Sometimes the person loses touch with reality and has episodes of psychosis. Experiencing psychosis involves hallucinations (seeing or hearing something that is not there) or having delusions (e.g. the person believing he or she has superpowers).

    Bipolar disorder seems to be most closely linked to family history. Stress and conflict can trigger episodes for people with this condition and it’s not uncommon for bipolar disorder to be misdiagnosed as depression, alcohol or drug abuse, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or schizophrenia.

    Diagnosis depends on the person having had an episode of mania and, unless observed, this can be hard to pick. It is not uncommon for people to go for years before receiving an accurate diagnosis of bipolar disorder. If you’re experiencing highs and lows, it’s helpful to make this clear to your doctor or treating health professional. Bipolar disorder affects approximately 2 per cent of the population.

    Cyclothymic disorder
    Cyclothymic disorder is often described as a milder form of bipolar disorder. The person experiences chronic fluctuating moods over at least two years, involving periods of hypomania (a mild to moderate level of mania) and periods of depressive symptoms, with very short periods (no more than two months) of normality between. The duration of the symptoms are shorter, less severe and not as regular, and therefore don’t fit the criteria of bipolar disorder or major depression.

    Dysthymic disorder
    The symptoms of dysthymia are similar to those of major depression but are less severe. However, in the case of dysthymia, symptoms last longer. A person has to have this milder depression for more than two years to be diagnosed with dysthymia.

    Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
    SAD is a mood disorder that has a seasonal pattern. The cause of the disorder is unclear, but it’s thought to be related to the variation in light exposure in different seasons. It’s characterised by mood disturbances (either periods of depression or mania) that begin and end in a particular season. Depression which starts in winter and subsides when the season ends is the most common. It’s usually diagnosed after the person has had the same symptoms during winter for a couple of years. People with SAD depression are more likely to experience a lack of energy, sleep too much, overeat, gain weight and crave for carbohydrates. SAD is very rare in Australia and more likely to be found in countries with shorter days and longer periods of darkness, such as in the cold climate areas of the Northern Hemisphere.

    Remember, depression is treatable and effective treatments are available. The earlier you seek support, the better.

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