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Episode 21. Lisa Kennedy

This week I talk to Lisa Kennedy, author of “No Going Back” about her book.
“During a routine family holiday to her husband s homeland of Turkey, Lisa Kennedy was suddenly told their marriage was over. Her husband took their six-month-old baby from her care and instructed her to go home to Australia, alone beginning four years of hell in Istanbul as she fought the case through both Turkish and International courts all the while battling people she once called family, now hell-bent on not letting her leave with her only son. Finally, with time against her and all faith lost in legal channels, Lisa realised she had only a mothers choice: she had to save her child and get back home by whatever means available. That meant calling on outside help and, to raise awareness about the frailties of international marriage and children, 60 Minutes agreed to film the plight. This is the heart-stopping story that is now unlikely ever be aired.”
Contact Lisa. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100021721781161&lst=684510688%3A100021721781161%3A1509750293
https://www.homeagainaustralia.com/
Buy the book – https://www.bookdepository.com/No-Going-Back-Lisa-Kennedy/9781760406998
Join the LBP Stories Conversation https://www.facebook.com/lbpstoriespodcast/

 

46 Replies to “Episode 21. Lisa Kennedy”

  1. I remember hearing about Lisa’s story. I will have to buy her book. Her story was definitely inspiring. Nothing stronger than a mothers love. Thank you for sharing this. I wish you and your son a very happy life

  2. The scarring and hurt that comes from a toxic parent probably isn’t something we talk about enough. None of us are perfect, including our parents, but there is a point at which imperfect becomes destructive, taking away from children the love, warmth and nurturing they deserve and replacing it with something awful.

    When children are raised on a diet of criticism, judgement, abuse and loathing, it’s only a matter of time before they take over from those parents, delivering with full force to themselves the toxic lashings that have been delivered to them.

    https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-parent/

  3. TOKYO (Kyodo) — The Supreme Court overturned on Thursday a lower court ruling that sided with a mother who brought her 13-year-old son to Japan from the United States and turned down the father’s request to return the child.

    The top court made the first decision on cases in which the return of a child has yet to take place despite a finalized Japanese court order to take the child back based on the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.

    The Supreme Court’s First Petty Branch said it sees “clear illegality” in the mother’s failure to comply with the order and sent the case back to the Nagoya High Court’s Kanazawa branch for further deliberation.

    The parents are both Japanese. A cross-border child custody battle began after the mother left their residence in the United States and returned to Japan with their second son in 2016.
    https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20180315/p2g/00m/0dm/103000c

  4. Thank you for this episode. I’ve read Lisa’s book. It is such a compelling story,and gives hope to other LBP’s. I wish her all the best in the future

  5. The Australian Law Reform Commission (ALRC) has released an Issues Paper for its Review of the Family Law System, and is calling for submissions from the public.

    The family law system is undergoing its first, independent comprehensive review since the inception of the Family Law Act 1975 more than forty years ago.

    Much has changed in Australian social and family life since then. For example, there are more people living together outside marriage, there are more changes in relationships and stepfamilies, reproductive technologies mean families can be formed in diverse ways, same-sex marriage is now legalised, and there is greater awareness of the prevalence of family violence and child abuse and the damage they can cause.
    https:///news-media/media-release/family-law-system-IP

  6. Parental Alienation is a process involving one parent (alienating parent) who negatively influences a child’s perception of the other parent (targeted parent). This results in the alienating parent damaging the once positive relationship between the child and the targeted parent.

    Parental Alienation Tactics used by Alienating Parents:

    * Damaging the loving connection between the child and targeted parent
    * Unreasonably interfering with time the child spends with the targeted parent
    * Eradicating the targeted parents from their child’s life
    * Purposefully withholding information about the child from the targeted parent
    * Making decisions about the child without consulting the targeted parent
    * Denigrating the targeted parent
    * Making false allegations of abuse against the targeted parent
    * Utilising support services to facilitate their campaign of denigration and false allegations of abuse
    * Emotionally manipulating the child
    * Demanding that the child chooses a side in the custody dispute
    * Encouraging the child to have an unhealthy dependence on them
    * Inappropriately disclosing adult information about the targeted parent and custody dispute to the child
    * Encouraging the child to be defiant towards the targeted parent

  7. It begins like a little drip you don’t even notice — an off-hand remark that is “just a joke.” I’m told I’m too sensitive and the remark was no big deal. It seems so small and insignificant at the time. I probably am a little too sensitive.

    DRIP, DRIP.

    I occasionally notice the drip but it’s no big deal. A public joke made at my expense is just my partner being the usual life of the party. When he asks if I’m wearing this dress out or whom I’m going with, it only means he loves me and cares about me.

    When he tells me he doesn’t like my new friend, I agree. Yes, I can see where she can be bossy. My husband is more important than a friend, so I pull away and don’t continue the friendship.

    DRIP, DRIP.
    http://www.ptsdjournal.com/posts/you-can-get-ptsd-from-staying-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/

  8. This brief video explains the challenges parents experience when fighting for the return of their internationally-kidnapped children and invites parents and advocates to attend iStand 2018: Shining the Light to Bring Them Home, the 5th annual International Parents Conference & Embassy Walk, My 23-25, 2018 in Washington DC. #iStandUntilAllChildrenComeHome

    https://vimeo.com/263602434

  9. One of the most complex and compelling issues confronting policymakers,
    parents, and professionals involved in making custody
    decisions is this: What type of parenting plan is most beneficial for
    the children after their parents separate? More specifically, are the
    outcomes any better or worse for children who live with each parent
    at least 35% of the time compared to children who live primarily
    with their mother and spend less than 35% of the time living with
    their father? This article addresses this question by summarizing
    the 40 studies that have compared children in these two types of
    families during the past 25 years. Overall the children in shared
    parenting families had better outcomes on measures of emotional,
    behavioral, and psychological well-being, as well as better physical
    health and better relationships with their fathers and their mothers,
    benefits that remained even when there were high levels of conflict
    between their parents.

    https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5154a075e4b08f050dc20996/t/54887e9fe4b04c36dc7d7873/1418231464149/40+studies+nielsen+.pdf

  10. The challenge for a family following separation is to transition from an intact family structure to a separated family structure that is now united by the children and by the continuing parental roles and shared bonds of affection with the child. Sometimes the emotional reactions and psychological functioning of one parent in response to the separation prevents this transition. When this occurs children can be exposed to that parent’s continuing anger and sadness.
    https://emmm.org.au/parental-alienation

  11. The most important thing to remember is to NEVER GIVE UP.
    It is essential to engage in self-care practices to help maintain your physical and emotional health. This is like putting on a life vest when you’re on a sinking ship. Looking after your emotional health is crucial to help you on the journey that is ahead of you and help you connect with your child or children by keeping you in a healthy frame of mind.
    https://emmm.org.au/parents

  12. Another story recently sent to us

    Truth Hurts and Honesty Kills
    My Battle Against Parent Alienation
    By: One Bad Mother

    I’m not an alcoholic; I hardly ever get the chance to drink. I don’t use drugs, I have a hard time even taking my meds on time like prescribed. So, it is clearly not the cause of me losing my daughter. I had work for a living even before my divorce. The divorce was finalized in June of 2004, after a relatively short marriage. What was the cause of my divorce? I was the only person in the marriage that could keep my body parts in my pants, and I did not allow lies to overwhelm my marriage. My other biggest mistake was believing lies, before the ugly side of my child’s father became known. Unfortunately, 1 year later the source of the lies came to light, and showed more than even she predicted. Everything I did was to conquer mother hood even before my marriage vows were taken. I was a single mother whom already had a guy walked away from me when I was just three weeks along with me first daughter. When my second daughter came, I was afraid of that nightmare happening yet again. What came of that nightmare was darker and more sinister than my nightmare could even began to imagine. At one point I wish I was the alcoholic I was being accused of being.
    As of me typing this, I have Joint Custody of my youngest daughter. Our last court date, I was ordered reunification sessions with a therapist. Which as to date, the therapist has refused to have any sessions with me. The therapist neglected to follow the state guidelines of Joint Custody over the years by seeing my youngest without the court order ever being on file, yet she claims in a text message it is all because I do not want to pay her and rejected our sessions against court orders. Even though she tried to have a paper trail to cover her own butt, it is not enough to cover her wrong doing. For years of my daughter’s schooling, I had to fight with office staff members to be apart of what is my parenting right of her IEP meetings of 3 years. I had to request and keep requesting my daughter’s doctor recorders to find out my daughter had developed a health condition which stress can trigger. Plus, hospital visits I was never told about, but learned about through records. I read them page by page and followed the trail of how my daughters step mother became “Mom” over the years; by simply not supplying the court records any longer. Many phone calls, text messages, emails, and encounters had been twisted to fit into a scenario that was made up by my daughter’s stepmother.
    Somehow the same woman, my child’s step mother had been there for every event of my daughter’s accusations. She claims she found my daughter crying sitting on the toilet confused about my relationship with my newest boyfriend (now husband), told my daughter to tell her father she was touched when my daughter was finally able to say a few sentences. At this point my daughter was already labeled with ADHD and was in special classes and had been since she was two. Yet, could I find a mediator, judge, police officer, or caseworker to listen to me? No, not even the so called therapist would help her. For 12 years now my daughter has been in the care of her abuser and I am made out to be the worst mother on earth. Why? I was the only one not to believe her lies anymore. The step mother had also on three different occasions hit on two different guys that I was dating at that time. Once she tried hitting on the same guy; she later accused of touching my daughter. The second time was my current husband .YES, this woman has gone so low to hit on both my ex-husband as well as my current husband. What she failed to realize is my husband has no want or use for this woman. With all the proof I have, I wish just once an investigator would see all I have and help. Help me to see if seeing my child is possible. Not to mention to get her away from her abusers. With being 16 going on 17 years old even if my daughter is to discover what the truth is; she still would say I was making stuff up. This is proof of the sick mind games that are being played on the weak. My ex-husband who is now estranged from her is continuing with the lies, yet can not see he is in deep too. Little did they know I would find out about the ex-wife’s new boyfriend and she is living in a completely different city and county. I saw how the step mother took my daughter with the new man out of state and her father wasn’t even there. Why is this woman who is not the mother of this innocent child still able to totally exit me out of my child’s life? I haven’t even mentioned how my ex mother in law was Supervisor to the Court Clerks in the Courthouse my case was filed and held in. Which gave my case an even sicker twist. Judges could belittle me without even hearing how the dog that bit is the same one owned by that very same Supervisor in that very same courthouse, or how I was not the step mother that coached a little girl that was only 5 years old to lie, and falsely accused an innocent man of wrong doing. I however will not hold back if you want to read all I have, see all I have and want to help fight for ending the COURT ORDERED CHILD ABUSE. Yes, I just said that the Courts are placing children in harms way is child abuse.
    I am one bad mother fighting for the rights of all the parents who has no one on their side just as me. I am fighting for all of the children that have one person or more abusing them and don’t know whom to trust anymore. I am that voice of my own freewill that was ripped away from my own child to end this and see that Time is Severed for False Accusations and for every Mind Game that was played on the INNOCENT. My fight is not only for my family, but for all the children that was forced to play the game that no one wins in. I know the heartache and its bad enough I have been through it, but parents to be there and the children. My heart and mind scream in agony knowing Parent Alienation is not an isolated event towards me, but way too many parents have had to endure this pain and more on the horizon.

    Winning this war will be done by the win of every little battle.
    #EARESED

  13. Japanese legislation implementing the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is expected to be revised as it requires the parent living with the children to be at the scene when children are handed over to the former marital partner.

    “I hope to see an effective (legal revision) which will also give maximum consideration to the mental and physical well-being of children,” Justice Minister Yoko Kamikawa told a press conference on Tuesday.
    https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20180626/p2g/00m/0fp/061000c

  14. I read Lisa’s book before hearing this episode. It was very well written. It’s a shame she can’t share her real name or be an open advocate of parental alienation, she’s such a warrior. But I understand why she can’t. I hope she has a wonderful life with her son. They deserve it

  15. I’ve read Lisa’s book. It was great to hear her talk in person. So inspired by your dedication Lisa, you never gave up and you fought for your son.

  16. What an amazing story. Well done for bringing attention to this issue Lisa. I also must say I admire the fact that you didn’t cut your ex out of your sons life, but rather, continue to encourage a relationship. So many people would have taken the opposite approach.

  17. “My parents divorced when I was a teenager. As the eldest of three sisters, I was my mom’s confidante. You grow up fast working out how something went wrong,”

  18. NIGELLA LAWSON:

    ‘Because my parents divorced when we were in our late teens, my siblings and I developed strong connections. you don’t live with your parents in the same way.’ Nigella recently divorced her second husband Charles Saatchi on the grounds of his continuing unreasonable behaviour.

  19. Artwork by a 10-year-old boy reveals the confusion he is experiencing with parental divorce. The definitive line separating the parents indicate how he feels forced to make a decision, thus the fork in the road. Who does he choose? Mom or dad? A tough decision for a child to make. This child is pointing at dad. What does this mean? The words of the child show the emotional pain he is experiencing: “This is what divorce sometimes seems like to me. Sometimes I am on the road I don’t want to be on. Sometimes I can’t decide which road to go on. At times, I get confused!”
    https://sharedparentingconfessional.com/2018/07/22/crossroads/

  20. Has anyone had any experience of a company sending them letters to say they owe maintenance etc and then when they have set up a direct debit to the company to support their kids, they’ve found out none of the money has been going to their ex?

  21. I think I’m in love with a girl I dated but rejected 20 years ago. I’m meeting her tomorrow and I hope I can finally make amends for what I did wrong before.

  22. Adam Whittington, the former Scotland Yard detective at the centre of the bungled attempted snatch of Sally Faulkner’s two children, has spent time in jail for a failed kidnapping that has remarkable similarities to the botched Lebanon job.

    In a remarkable fall from grace for someone who claims to have led the British anti-terrorism investigation into the 2005 London bombings and was involved in the search for Madeleine McCann, Whittington has an extravagant, colourful recent history.

    In the past two years, he has been behind bars and narrowly escaped arrest during a snatch in Peru this year where a colleague is still in custody facing a jail term. Now he is detained in Beirut, along with reporter Tara Brown and the 60 Minutes crew, charged with kidnapping among other ­offences.

    https://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/chequered-career-of-private-investigator-adam-whittington/news-story/1a855f881915b0ef18b2736dc35f9a11

  23. Anonymous

    Today was my boyfriends day to have his kids from 3(after school) until 6 PM, court order I mind you. The mother of the children took it in her own power to demand that today she is picking up the kids saying my boyfriend gave her the right to, which is untrue. We went and spoke with the summer teachers and daycare and they were saying how his son was asking continuously throughout the day if his daddy was picking him up and if it was 3 yet…the kids are always looking forward to his days picking them up. She did as she said she was and got them against court order and we went to the police and showed up at her house. We saw her drive by and the cops called her and they were so awesome and polite and just asked for her to come back so we can a figure this thing out. She refused and from what I heard was completely disrespectful to the cops. We had his court orders in hand at the time which didn’t really do much…I get that the cops can only do so much and I appreciate any efforts that they make…but what gets me is, the ex took time away from my boyfriend from his kids, she took time away from her own kids that look forward to time with their father…neither of them will ever have that time again, it was taken…even the courts can’t replace the 3 hours that my boyfriend should have gotten with his kids today. The courts are so unfair, even bringing this to court, really, what is it going to do so my boyfriend can have his kids in his life and not just be a bystander?!?!? So frustrated, angry and broken…today was a really hard day…
    The Fathers’ Rights Movement, July 29, 2015.
    Link to FB page for The Fathers’ Rights Movement: https://www.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?ref=ts&fref=ts

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