Episode 48 ‘Blanche’

For several years after my son was taken in 2005 I thought I was alone, and that I’d married a ‘bad egg’. Then thanks to social media I learned of thousands of other cases. Even more to my surprise, there was Blanche, a left behind mother who lived in the same town as me and who also had a son being retained in Japan. Her son however was being held in Japan by an Australian father.  Here is her unique story. *sons name withheld for privacy reasons*

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12 Replies to “Episode 48 ‘Blanche’”

  1. “In our effort to protect children from physical and sexual abuse, we cannot ignore the hidden suffering of children who are manipulated to take sides in their parent’s disputes.”

    ~ Dr. Richard A. Warshak

  2. Parental Alienation in all forms is child abuse and causes long term psychological harm to children.
    “The outrage that people have been facing the past few days, I wish people would keep in their minds that this is continuing to happen in our country every day,” Cardoso said.
    “What we’ve all been focused on at the border, it’s just a microcosm of the trauma that is happening and will continuing to happen.”

  3. So good to hear that you are able to make friends through such a gut wrenching experience. Also so good to hear of someone actually winning in court. Best of luck to you and your son Blanche.

  4. So glad you were able to have a victory in court Blanche. Great to hear judges are finally starting to pay attention.

  5. One Direction’s HARRY STYLES

    ‘When I was seven my mum and dad divorced and that was quite a weird time. I remember crying about it. I didn’t really get what was going on properly – I was just sad that my parents wouldn’t be together any more.’

  6. I am an 18 year old freshman in college at the University of Texas. I was born and raised in New York. My parents got divorced when I was nine years old and my mom won custody of me and my younger brother. I was scared of my mom and, as a result, she was able to use me as a pawn against my father. My parent’s divorce went on for another ten years and I was primary source of communication between the two for the entirety of it. Although they have been divorced for a few years now, they are still fighting to this day, which upsets me. They try to involve me but I repudiate by telling them both that I cannot be involved in their disagreements anymore because their issues have corrupted my childhood. For all you parents out there, please make sure you do not involve your children in such a terrible process. It is not their job to know when their father is late on child support or how terrible of a person their mother or father may be. I wish I had other children to speak to during my parents divorce. I am hoping this forum (Divorce Force) will connect children in need of support with people that can act as an consiglieres during their parents’ divorce process.

  7. Emotional abuse during childhood has long-term ramifications. An adult child shares a glimpse into their emotional world. The child learns at an early age to put aside their own desires to please their parent. This is at the expense of their own emotional needs, feelings and wants. This emotional abuse may revealed in all future relationships.

  8. Thank you for sharing your story Blanche. Be proud of what you have done. If your son doesn’t fully appreciate it yet, one day he will.

  9. An adult child of divorce shares the lingering effects of divorce. Notably, her sense of self and the devastating impact of divorce have created what appear to be insecurities that may have not developed without the childhood drama and trauma of her parents divorce.


    My mom needed to divorce my dad. He had been physically abusive for years. Eventually he committed adultery. While my mother felt totally betrayed, there was a part of her that was glad she finally felt no one could expect her to stay married to him. That was when I was 13.

    Now I’m an adult, married with children of my own. My husband is a good man, but the idea of divorce is never far from my thoughts. I’m afraid he will leave me later for a younger woman, solution: divorce. There are times I feel so depressed about myself, and I don’t want to have to drag him down, solution: divorce. There are times I’m so upset with him for not being perfect, solution: divorce. There are times I’m just tired of dealing with all the needs of taking care of a whole other person, along with my children, solution: divorce. My mom has managed to live pretty happily as a single mom.

    I know divorce is nowhere near justifiable for me, but I fear that I just don’t have the skills or personality to have a thriving marriage. I look at other aging couples, and see a lot of frustrations and incompatibilities. Can I endure that long? Am I that good of a person?

    My only hope is through Christ, that He can change me, heal me. I’m impatient for the day that divorce won’t linger in my thoughts so much. I wonder if this really is because I’m a child of divorce, or if I’m just weak.

    I love my husband and my children, and the emotional violence of divorce is repugnant to me. And maybe that is the silver lining, that because I hate what divorce did to me, I don’t want to do that to my children.

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