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Episode 57 Hind Kettani

This week my guest is Hind Kettani, a U.S. based left behind mother, who’s two sons were taken by their father from the U.S. to Morocco then Saudi Arabia. In what is a fascinated story involving multiple governments and one very strong and determined mother.
Also in this episode audio from a TED talk on Parental Alienation by Dr Jennifer Harman. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3YdldNXZnQ
Join the discussion on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lbpstoriespodcast/

10 Replies to “Episode 57 Hind Kettani”

  1. Parenting together is in the best interest of the child! See how these parents work WITH each other regarding legal matters. In Shared parenting, EVERYONE wins! Well……accept for legal council.

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    Since my ex- and I share custody, follow court orders, and follow Friend of the Court procedures, we don’t needlessly waste money on attorneys and court costs. That money goes into our child’s college fund, extra-curricular activities, and vacations.

    I wish all parents were smart enough and mature enough to do the same! It’s sad when one parent has it together and the other parent is vindictive, abuses the children, violates court orders, and forces an innocent parent to spend money on an attorney and going to court to hold the irresponsible parent accountable. It takes so much away from what’s available for the children and is just another type of abuse by unfit parents.

    .

    In the Best Interest of the Child. Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/InTheBestInterestsOfTheChild?fref=ts

    #231, This is Shared Parenting!

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    Shared Parenting!
    July 5, 2015
    in Impact on child, Shared Parenting

    An inspirational story about two parents working together for the benefit of their child! This dad understands the importance of shared parenting. YES!!!!!

    .

    Being a separated parent has allowed me to realize a lot of things. I don’t get my daughter everyday and I don’t get to do all the things normal dad’s get to do. Some might feel like I try to go over the top in some of the things I do or blow a bunch of hot air about being a dad.

    But in reality, it’s just me learning one simple skill that many can’t master. Never take things for granted. I’ve learned every moment with my daughter is extra special. My time is limited. So, what might seem like one of those normal simple moments in life are extra super special moments in mine. Tonight while watching the fireworks, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. The world for me stopped spinning, doubts about my impending court battle disappeared, money wasn’t a concern, and everything I love dear was beside me and in my arms.

    I suppose my point is that I hate being a separated parent. I want my beautiful little girl 100% of the time. But, being apart even if it was only 50% of the time has blessed me with the knowledge and ability to take every moment we are together more serious. And without sounding condescending…not a single second is taken for granted and every kiss or I Love You means 1000x more than what it would mean to a normal parent.

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    Shared on FaceBook page: The Father’s Rights Movement (tfrm).

    Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?fref=ts

    Link to post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152907479477805&set=a.10152907500487805.1073741831.593087804&type=1&theater

    #216, Shared Parenting!

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    A Tender Moment
    July 4, 2015
    in Impact on child, Shared Parenting

    Here is a heart warming story about offering emotional support and recognizing the efforts of a devoted father.

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    Tonight at a conference my eyes were drawn to a Father sitting next to us who had three young sons in his care. Probably ages 12, 9 & 7.
    I watched on as I was amazed at the affection this Father showed for his sons.
    No matter what they asked him, he gave each one his full attention. He kissed & hugged them continually.
    I was wondering why I was so drawn to know his story. Where was Mum? Was he a single Dad? Did his wife pass away? I wasn’t sure but I’m eyes were transfixed on his love for them, and also the love the eldest son showed for his younger brothers.
    When the conference finished I felt to tell him “he’s a great dad and that he needed to hear that”
    As I walked past I leant down to his ear and said “I want you to know I was watching you with your boys, your a wonderful Father”
    You should have seen his face light up. It was like he was shocked and then again so happy at that comment.
    “Thank you” he said…
    As I left the Auditorium I told my husband what I said and he also said he was going to say the same thing.
    Ten minutes later my husband ran into him again where we were all picking up our kids.
    He walked up to my husband and just asked how our night was.
    I then approached their conversation and this man still intrigued me.
    “What was his story we wondered?”
    As my husband asked him where he was from and about the kids, he started to tell us how he brought his 5 kids (yes he also had 2 Girls) down from Brisbane for this 1 week conference. That he wanted more than anything to give his kids the joy of experiencing this and to have this time with them.
    My ears starting to tune in, I was starting to feel I think I do have a single Dad here.
    Then he drops the penny.
    He hadn’t seen his kids in 3 months, they live further away from him, he’s in a messy court battle with his ex, he’s been told he’s not a good father and the story goes on.
    I knew it. God works in mysterious ways doesn’t he. The amount of times I have had separated/divorced parents put in my path I can’t tell you.
    I put my hand on his arm and said well I do understand as you are what I write and talk about.
    With my eyes filling up I shared with him what I do (Voice4kids) and he was shocked. Even he said wow, this is a God moment.
    I shared with him my heart (and yes I cried) as I told him what an amazing Dad I saw in him etc…
    It was such a lovely moment that my husband and I were able to witness tonight.
    I told him I feel to bless him with my 2 Books and he can’t wait to receive them.
    *THESE ARE MOMENTS I LIVE FOR.
    *THESE ARE THE MOMENTS I PRAY FOR.
    *THIS IS WHY I DO WHAT I DO.

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    As shared on http://www.voice4kids Facebook page:

    Link: https://www.facebook.com/voice4kidskarlalee?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

    WEBSITE: http://www.karlalee.com

    http://www.voice4kids

    EMAIL: author.karlalee@gmail.com

    #210, A Tender Moment

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    SEND YOUR CONFESSION AT:
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  2. Confess your feelings of betrayal, fear, heartache or humiliation that you have experienced in your divorce or co-parenting situation.

    Share a setting that you regret or a situation that may have caused anguish, misery or sorrow for your co-parent. Or, reveal actions that may have promoted emotional pain or unhappiness for your child.

    Confessions are not limited to heartache only. Please share heartwarming moments and happy experiences you have experienced in divorce and shared parenting too! Perhaps, something your co-parent did or said that has enhanced your co-parenting relationship.

    Here is anopportunity to share the confessions about your divorce or co-parenting experiences. This can be something that you have told to family and friends or a private thought that has remained a secret…….until now. Focus on extreme moments of individual experiences.

    This is a place to confess what your co-parent did or said that led to your feelings of betrayal, fear or humiliation. Write about something that you enacted, a statement or a thought you expressed that caused grief for your co-parent, your child or yourself.

    We learn from others experiences and situations. Perhaps in reading these scenarios, co-parents can identify with issues they are also experiencing. Hopefully,one can see how some actions can have long-term negative effects and cause pain for their co-parent or child! Importantly, by reading these stories co-parents can see that they are not alone in the thoughts and feelings surrounding their divorce and co-parenting relationship.
    https://sharedparentingconfessional.com/category/a-childs-view/

  3. Artwork by a 10-year-old boy reveals the confusion he is experiencing with parental divorce. The definitive line separating the parents indicate how he feels forced to make a decision, thus the fork in the road. Who does he choose? Mom or dad? A tough decision for a child to make. This child is pointing at dad. What does this mean? The words of the child show the emotional pain he is experiencing: “This is what divorce sometimes seems like to me. Sometimes I am on the road I don’t want to be on. Sometimes I can’t decide which road to go on. At times, I get confused!”
    https://sharedparentingconfessional.com/2018/07/22/crossroads/

  4. Your Enlightened Children are the New Worlds Healers

    “I know it’s a tough journey you are on.

    I know it’s unfair, but as I say in my book,
    ‘Would you go back to not knowing what you know now?’

    Now you’ve walked the walk and know about emotional vampires?

    No because now you are the lucky enlightened few who can protect yourselves from them.

    Be grateful for this knowledge.

    I know this is not what we wanted for our babies.

    We did everything we could possibly do to protect them from a cruel heartless parent with the limited knowledge we had.

    Be grateful that although your children are also on their own difficult path most of them will also trudge through the upset and pain and to the other side, back to the safety of their loving parent, complete with this knowledge and better equipped to face the future.

    Our enlightened children are the hope and the healers of the world to come.”

    Tammy Mariposa

  5. It is recognised that not all consultees will wish or feel able to answer all of the questions. Consultees are encouraged to answer questions where they feel it appropriate to do so. If you do not want to select an answer to one of the questions but want to make a comment please do so in the box below “why did you select your answer”.

    The links below correspond to the sections within the consultation. You may complete some or all of the sections. By clicking a link it will take you to the questions within the section. Once you have completed the relevant questions on the page you can select ‘Save and come back later…’ or ‘Continue’.

    ‘Save and return’ later feature allows you to return to the consultation at a later date without losing the information you’ve already entered as part of your response. If the response has not been submitted prior to the consultation closing the response will be lost.

    ‘Continue’ will return you to this page. You can opt to complete another section or complete the required ‘About you’ page. Once the required questions have been completed you may submit your response.
    https://consult.gov.scot/family-law/children-scotland-act/consultation/

  6. A great message for fathers seeking custody (mothers too). Both parents are fighting for parental rights. Fighting for the rights of the child. A child needs and wants to have a relationship with both parents. This pic represents an unfortunate reality for many fathers (and mothers). Shared from The West Virginia Father’s Rights Movement FB page: https://www.facebook.com/TFRMWV/

  7. We live in a time of a shared parenting world. Yet, for many children, shared parenting is denied. I know. I am divorced. My kids are divorced from me.

    Children of divorce are separated from their parents because the parents are in dispute over living arrangements. Laws and social policy guidelines are outdated. The ‘system’ put in place to act in the best interest of the child damages the parent child relationship. The ‘system’ destroys the child’s choice to communicate with both parents. When a parent is removed from the child’s life on a daily basis the child becomes the victim. We need to do something. The relationship with my 2 children is destroyed. Knowing that my kids will learn the truth in 10 years offers little comfort. For now, I am missing out on the moments of their lives. School days, sport practices, and friends after school. Breakfast and dinner together are ….gone. Going to church as a family……gone. Living my life with joy……..gone. The unfair courts have ruined my life. If you are thinking about divorce-don’t do it. Do what you can to stay together. Staying in a bad marriage is better than a divorce.

  8. Parental divorce upsets and resets an adolescents’ family life. This adolescent captures the trauma of her parents’ divorce. Her heartfelt feelings are revealed in her words and art: “Everyone should see what a child goes through during a divorce, and I am one of the children going through the middle of it.”

    į̶̼͉̥͇͗͜’̴̲̯̭͓͎̽̔͊̉͝m̶̢̢̠͐́̾̓ ̵͍͎̰̣͙̼͘j̴̧͉̈͋̓̈́̂u̶̢̡̼͙͎̖̿̊̂s̴̝͚̘̰͂̎͗͆͜ͅt̶̺̬̂ ̶̥͚̼̲͊a̵̠̣̠͍̫͝ ̵̧̢͕̟̤͔̓͐̂̔s̷̘͛̆̇̕l̵̥͚̉̐a̴͉̔̈́̀̈́͂̐v̵̯͈̀̀͝e̵̺̘͖̞͛́͑ ̶̡͔̖̩͑͑̓̌̚ț̸̊̀́͂́ͅo̸͍̰̿̀͑̈́͊͝ ̷͍̌͑̓͒͝͝t̵̡̧̗̤̬̊̔͒͝ͅh̸̟̙̋͂̐̊͂ȩ̷͎̪͍̼̎̓͊̓̇ ̶͕̰̟̜͂ͅt̸̖̤̱̍͂͜r̷̓̓̏̄͑ͅa̷̮͓̘̳̐̊̚ű̴̺̔̑͜͝ḿ̷͈̐͆̈́̋a̷̫̋̿̈́͝,̶̺̣̜̘̌̏̒̕ ̸̲̝̙̿͌̊͗̎͐i̸̖̯̤͓̫͕̾͋ţ̷̡̱͙̓͋͝ ̴̥́̈́̒c̶̬͖̯̪̲͖̎̈́̓̈͝͠o̶̩̬̥̬͆͌̅̿͒̑ņ̷̨͍̰̝̱̆̇̅t̶̛͈̱̦̘͖̙͛ŕ̶̳̭͇̥̥̯̉͛̅̏ơ̷̧̰̘͂͐͘̚͝ļ̴̩̈́͂ş̷̥̤̃̈́ ̷̡̪͉̰͝m̸̧͍̱͕̰̣̽̽̇ȩ̸͆͐͗̄ ̶̻̌̿̆̓̒͋w̷̼͎̼̦̲̆͆̀͘̚h̷̬̭̖̊̽͘ĕ̶̹̀̋̓͘͝ͅn̴̢̽̐͛̐ ̶̡̧̛̙̣̝̽́̀̈́̚͜i̶̦͒ ̸̢̧̜̠͖̪̔͘d̶̨̠̠͛̀̂ő̴̲͍̔̓̿͝͝ ̸̟̘̑̓̕ǹ̴̰̖̟̳̼̔̋͒͌͜ò̷̒̽̃́̚ͅͅţ̸̼̱̩̈͗ ̴̘̔͠w̸̢̦̪̘̓͌͊͛̾͗â̶̮̮͋̈́̀ṅ̶̤͚̳t̴͙̔̓͛͠ ̴̢̛͇̩̟̏͛͋̆̐ì̵̡̘̌̅͂͠t̸͍̹͉͂͑ ̷͇̖͚̾̋ͅͅt̵̡͕͍̠̞̎͂ö̶̧̜̦̣́͝͝.̴̦̤͝ ̸͔͎͚̮̱͎̏̈́i̸̫͛̂̍̒̚͘ ̴͓̊̋̀h̵̢̜̩̒̃̋͆a̶̖̓̈́̕t̴̝̳͛̃̀̕ė̸̞̎́̆̆͘͜ ̴̆̾͊̌͂͜͠ȉ̴̢̡̧̛͙̦̈̆͌͊ť̵̛̞͎͓̫̿͗̋,̵̻͑̾̆́̕͘ ̵̹̿̈̚ä̴̞̙́͛̇̓̔ṅ̴̛͖̬̥̘͌̚͝d̸̢͈̼͚̯̬̂̓̿͝ ̷̳̺̏̏ȋ̷̦̟͖̞͍̺̓́̓t̶̨̼͈͆̈́̿̇ ̶̣̝̑̂̂̕͝ḧ̶̻̪̝̥̩̠́̿͑̕ḁ̸̰̓͂͂͠ṱ̴̯́͐͒̽̄̕ͅe̸͇̖̺͔͒s̸̨͕̾̏͝ ̷̥̟͖͎͐̆̚ͅm̸̠̓͘͝ë̶͚̲̠̳̙́́̽̿.̵̝͉̻͓́́́̐ ̵̜̂̅́̔͝i̵͎̹̍̍̇̄̎t̵̼̮̭̃̓́̉̓ ̶̱̳̀t̵͈̄̄͒͋̇e̴͈͙͚̾̽̔̀å̵̮͚̫̞͙̓͛̐r̷͕͙͖͎̂͛̒͗͒̃s̵͎̺̿̃͗ ̶̟̝̳͚̭͠m̷͇̘̰͚̦̓̓̑̆̓e̶͔̝͓͎̓́̋̓̔ ̸͎̣̑͐a̵̡̼̣̽p̵̧̨͎̥̖͕͑̾̓͑͠a̴̛͔͖͍̤̫̾͂̉̃ŕ̷̳̬̘̯̌͌̿̓͝t̷̡̙̰̹̹̣̓͌͘ ̷̲͇̌̏͆̓́̎f̵̺̝̙͙̫͖̂̀r̵̩͙̬̆̓̂̎̚͝o̵̦͓͖̊̈́̃́͘ͅm̸̡̠͔͕̰̽̎͠ ̵̧͉͕͓͐̆̅̌͠t̵̺̗̀̚h̸̯̖͈͉̑͊͘e̴̩̲̣͗ ̵̡̢͍̖̒͌̅i̸͕̦̗̒ͅn̵̖͓͍̞͌̾̉͝ş̵̈͒̓͂̍į̶̘͉̦́̈́̚͝d̷̰̩͎̗̎̆e̴̟͈̣̎͂̓͝͝ͅ ̸̙̤̳̪̼̳̐̎̋ḁ̴̆̈́̓̓ṋ̶̗͚̒͛͒̋͠d̴͎̯̾̚ ̶̳̈͑͐̅͠i̴̜̓̈́ ̷̪̲͒͑̆ḁ̴̑̀̔m̶̹̜̣̆̓̃͆̅ ̴̱͕̮̓͂̎́͗͝ḟ̸͗̃͂̓͜o̶͎̞͋͑̈́̔̎̓͜r̸̯̮̓̊ć̸̯e̷̖̜̪̼̍͑͘d̶͖̰̗̺͛̒͜ ̸̨͚̈t̷̲͑̄͑̂̚͝o̸̥̫͖͂̍ ̸̼͖̐͋̉͐ķ̴͔̥̱̮̎̄e̸̦͇̺̓̀̓͒̉e̵̟͐̌̈́̄͠ͅp̸̯̌͆̾̓ ̵̭͉̟͆̑̈́ͅȃ̴͉̭̫̲̩̽̄̽͠ ̸̮͖̐͒̉̒̏s̸̥̼̦͓̱̮͐̃͐m̶̻̬͗͗̔̂̉͝i̶̛̘̮̯͈͜l̶͚̳̎̓̈́͘é̵͙̬̙͕̂ ̵̞͔͗̈́o̸̳̦̭̅̈́͐͊n̶̙̭̎̒̊̏̏̑͜ ̸̺͙͙̒͌̏͝m̵̧̗̱̝͆̋̊y̵̞̬͐̉̍̍̽ ̵̣̃̈͠f̸̧̥͍̠͓̻̎̋̆̋ȧ̶̱̬̻̖̗̎̆c̴̨̡̨̗͇̳͝ę̶̛̦͇̪̂̇ ̸̥̋͌w̸̖͈̒ḩ̵̦̻̬̗́͆̿͝ȩ̴͚̺̺̣̩̒̑n̸̩̳͙͂̋͒͒̐̄ ̶̪̰̐̄̐̈́͆i̸̤͊̊͠ ̷̱͌f̴̰͎̹̠̈́̏̍̌̕͠e̸̳̖͉͛͋͛͝ë̴̡̢͈̣̠̲́͠l̵̫̘̰̫̜͚̑̇͐̈́̔͠ ̸̢͖͇͎̝̠̌̍̉͐͊̕s̶̤̆̌̂̔͌̓c̵̣͐́͠ą̸̖͓̜͇̎̄̏͛r̸͍͌̐͝e̵̱͉̦̚d̴͈̝̙̺͈̰̀̀̾̅ ̶͕͐́̾̑a̵̧̗̱̺̲̦̍̇̑̊n̷̛̹͗͗̃d̵̨͔̹͎̰͉̃͑̕̚͠͝ ̶̛̪͉̃̋a̶̭͉͎͗̈́͊̏l̶͔̼̲̠̱̣̎̃̓̒͝o̴̞̻͍͆̐́̈͝͠n̷̪͚̊͗̓̄͆̉ẽ̷̫͈̟͓̲̦̊.̷̢̻̰͗

    “If you couldn’t read that, it says this “I’m just a slave to the trauma, it controls me when I do not want it to. I hate it, and it hates me. It tears me apart from the inside and I am forced to keep a smile on my face when I feel scared and alone.”

  9. Divorce
    7 years old

    My dad calls me and my siblings to the living room
    Where he and my mom sit, smiles on their faces
    That, looking back, I’m not sure were genuine anymoreMy dad asks
    “Imagine we moved to an island with two tents;
    One with your mom, and one with me. Which one would you like to live in?”I don’t know much but I know I don’t like this question
    So I answer
    “I would put the two tents together so we can all live in one big one!”
    Because that’s the only answer that doesn’t leave my tongue
    With a foul taste, like when I somehow got soap
    On my RingpopMy parents smile,
    but I know my imagination
    isn’t welcome on this imaginary island9 years oldI’m way too young
    to feel like the tape
    you use to close that tattered box
    that somehow became too small to hold your Christmas treeBut putting the tree back at work today
    I realize that’s exactly how I felt11 years oldMy parents are fighting
    (Again)
    And I guess it must’ve been really bad
    Because my mom storms up
    And tells us whatever the reason they were fighting
    (Or maybe just because of the fighting)
    She was moving out Feburary of next yearI remember crying
    But I don’t remember being sad
    Or surprised14 years old
    Twice as old as I was
    When they first asked
    And I still don’t like
    Choosing tents

    16 years old
    I love her enough to call her “Ma”
    But mom doesn’t like that so I stop
    I wonder if she knew the love was
    Still there

    I wonder if it’s my fault
    She left

    19 years old

    In a few years
    It’ll be socially acceptable
    For me to get married

    And of course
    If that happens
    I hope it works out

    Of course I hope
    Life in general will work out
    That I’ll make my parents proud

    But if it doesn’t
    When it doesn’t
    I hope they remember
    Who it was that taught me
    Promises are made of glass

    #487, Divorce Through the Ages
    DeviantArt.comby kushamisaru at DeviantArt.com.
    http://kushamisaru.deviantart.com/art/Divorce-425825160
    Artwork, Deviant Art, titled Enlightenment created by candiceshadow
    https://candiceshadow.deviantart.com/art/enlightenment-478115796

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