Episode 6. Paul Toland

On July 13th 2003, Erika Toland was abducted from her home at Negishi Navy Family Housing in Yokohama, Japan. She was abducted by her mother, Etsuko Toland, who subsequently died on October 31st, 2007. Since the death of her mother, Erika has been held in the possession of  her maternal Grandmother, Akiko Futagi. For seven long years her father, Captain Paul Toland, US Navy, has been trying to see his daughter Erika, but to no avail.  Today, Erika remains held captive in Japan, the black hole for child abduction, separated from her only living parent in the country from which no child has ever returned.  Erika is a beautiful 14 year old girl who deserves to know and feel the love of her only parent, as well as her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in the United States.

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22 Replies to “Episode 6. Paul Toland”

  1. The grandmother has her homecare organised – a granddaughter to look after her. Isn’t that theJapanese way? The children/grandchildren look after the elderly parents/grandparents. I believe that’s why Paul Browns xwife needed a child.
    Would you have married a Japanese woman if you’d known these strange customs? That’s why it is so important to get your message out there.

  2. In January 2011 two children, Gabriel Leonardo Makielski Rivera and Isabel Marie Makielski Rivera, where illegally taken to the Dominican Republic by their mother, Maria Rivera-Estevez. An existing court order is in place detailing custody, visitation, travel, and the U.S. as habitual residence for the children. The mother removed the children from Virginia and took them to the Dominican Republic without the father Robert Makielski’s authorization as required by the current custody order.

  3. There have been over 400 registered cases of parental abductions of American children to Japan since 1994. An estimated 10,000 U.S. children have been abducted or retained within Japan. To date, the Government of Japan has not returned a single American child to an American parent.

    Join the UW Jackson School Student Association, BAC Home – Bring Abducted Children Home, legal counsel, human rights experts, and speakers from the Office of Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal to learn about the specifics of international parental child abduction.

    We will be specifically discussing the case of BAC Home – Bring Abducted Children Home’s co-founder and Executive Director, Mr. Jeffery Morehouse. Mr. Morehouse’s son was abducted by his ex-wife and brought to Japan. The Japanese government recognized his sole custody but has not returned his son to him since 2010.

  4. “Childhood cannot be relived. Once it is over it is gone forever. That sense of history, intimacy, lost input of values and morals, self-awareness through knowing one’s beginnings, cannot be recaptured. No more physical or emotional affection, special moments and fun times together, these special memories become suppressed and sometimes forgotten. Often the extended family of the “erased” parent is also removed from the child’s life, so no more traditional family celebrations or gatherings for Christmas, birthdays, and Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. No more visits with grandma and grandpa.” ~ Amanda Sillars

    PARENTAL ALIENATION CONFERENCE 2018 for mental health and legal professionals visit:…/children-forced-take-sides-face…/

  5. U.S. Congresswoman Mimi Walters (CA-45) speaks on the House floor about Keisuke’s 2008 kidnapping to Japan by his mother and Japan’s terrible record on international parental child abduction.

    “Japan continues to have one of the worst records in returning abducted children like Keisuke [Collins] to the United States,” declared Rep. Walters.

    She closed, “this is a grave injustice and I will continue to support Randy and all
    families whose children have been wrongfully abducted.”

    In 2011, partnering with Mr. Collins while she served in the California State Senate she introduced SB 1206 which was signed into law in 2012 as Keisuke’s Law.

  6. “It was pretty crappy, I came home from a birthday party and he was moved out. It was pretty abrupt,” “Sure, your dad leaves and disappears for a while, that’s pretty brutal. But that’s sort of the beauty of it. Like I said, I would never exchange any of it… Me making people laugh, finding the humor in things, trying to lighten up the mood between disgruntled parents, getting attention… It sort of was a survival technique.”
    “When my dad divorced my mom it was kind of like him leaving me also,”

  7. The 20 authors of the articles in this two-part special issue and the 12 experts at the international conference in 2017 reached the same conclusion—and reached it independently of one another without being commissioned by any organization to try to achieve a consensus. This body of scholars concludes that Joint Parental Custody is generally in the best interests of children, with some exceptions, including, but not limited to, children who need protection from a parent whose care is abusive, neglectful, or grossly inadequate. These conclusions are in accord with those reached by the 110 international experts who endorsed Warshak’s (2014 Warshak, R. A. (2014). Social science and parenting plans for young children: A consensus report. Psychology, Public Policy and Law, 20, 46–67. doi:10.1037/law0000005
    [Crossref], [Web of Science ®], [Google Scholar]
    ) consensus paper on shared parenting for children under the age of 4.

  8. Hortencia, 48
    Married for 30 years

    1. How old were you when your parents divorced?

    I was 2 ½ years old.

    2. What is your strongest memory of your parents’ divorce?

    It became a usual routine to wake up and not see my mother there because she would be working since my father was no longer there to provide for us.

    We didn’t grow up as a family we were eventually all separated because my mom would work and father wasn’t there and my siblings and I were sent off to live with aunts. I didn’t really get to know my mother until I was an adolescent when I moved back to live with her.

    3. What coping mechanism did you adopt?

    I had support from my family—cousins and aunts. Some of them were going through the same situation, so we helped each other out and we never made each other feel any less because of it. I looked to them for support.

    4. Do you feel differently about your parents’ divorce now that you are an adult?

    Yes. I used to think that my parent’s divorce wasn’t a bad thing and that we were all better off this way. But now that years have passed, I see how it has really affected my mother the most. She never remarried and as she grows older I see how lonely she is and how I would have liked for her to have someone to spend her days with.
    I feel guilty that I can’t do more for her.
    5. As an adult if you could go back to yourself as a child and tell that child something, what would it be?

    It might sound silly but I would tell her that everything will be fine. I would also tell her that dreams do come true. I wanted a family and I now I have what I always wanted.

    6. Give me 6 words to describe you as an adult child of a divorce.

  9. Nice of the courts to post out the forms to me. Over 3 months of no meaningful contact. 6 months of waiting for reports not to arrive. Now let’s see the hash that gets made of mediation.

  10. How could our government not give greater support to someone who has helped defend our country’s freedom?

  11. I am so broken. I just want to hold my baby girl again.

    Tell her I Love her. Tell her I never abandoned her.

    How can the courts do this to our children?

  12. Divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a child. Parental divorce can be a life changer for children when the post divorce relationship is painfully different from the pre divorce relationship. After battling in family court for 12 years, I have seen what this has done to my daughter. It has placed a big wall up in her life. Each day there is the task to help her understand it all. I would give anything to spare my daughter from the grief that my divorce has caused her.

  13. PAS is now quite common. Numerous support forums have been established because of PAS. PAS is real! There are thousands of heart-wrenching calls and letters from parents whose children have been taught to fear or hate them. Both mothers and fathers can be perpetrators of Parental Alienation, but the true victims are always the children. Please don’t make your child a victim of PAS. Parent your child. Share Parenting with your ex. Think to put the child first. PAS means you are putting the hatred you have for your ex BEFORE the Love you have for your child!. Love your child MORE than you hate your ex.

  14. For several years, Mel persisted in trying to make contact with Ned. He wrote letters, sent gifts, tried to phone, but Marla foiled every one of his efforts. During this time, Ned struggled through high school and took a job as a delivery boy on the streets of Manchester.

    Ned’s visit to his father

    Shortly after Ned’s eighteenth birthday, the boy phoned Mel and asked if he could visit him in Arizona. He wanted to check out the monster his mother had described to him. Mel was elated at the prospect of seeing his son and not surprised at the negative image Marla had painted. Perhaps the visit would dispel some of Ned’s suspicions. But to Mel’s great disappointment, their time together was a disaster. They “just didn’t click.” Ned was wary and reticent. Father and son could not seem to find any common ground. There was only one topic that interested Ned: the divorce and its aftermath. He asked countless questions about why, when, and how his parents had quarreled, and why Mel had never tried to contact him during all those years. Mel explained that he had written, he had sent gifts, and most important, he had contributed to Ned’s support. These revelations baffled Ned, since they contradicted everything his mother had told him. Put off balance, he became more morose and confused. Now he felt compelled to “choose” between one parent and the other, unsure of whom to believe or trust. It became clear to Mel that a true reconciliation could not occur at this time. After waiting so many years, it seemed that he would never have a genuine role in his son’s life.

  15. If one parent is trying to win then that means everyone is losing out. THERE ARE NO WINNERS in PA! In fact, the absolute reality is that the one person who misses out the most….. is the CHILD! Every. Single. Time.

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