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Episode 72. Left behind Grandparents

I’ve spoken to alienated parents and children in this show but how does alienation affect grandparents? Grand parents have to deal with seeing their own child go through the pain of a break up and being alienated from their kids, whilst dealing with the double blow of also not being able to see their grand kids. For this episode I could think of no better guests than my own parents Terry and Brenda who have been cut out of the lives of 4 grandchildren from 2 of their sons. This is their story.

Also, in the media in Australia it has been revealed that the Federal Police have foiled an organised parental child abduction ring
https://tendaily.com.au/news/crime/a181017wpg/police-swoop-on-alleged-high-level-child-abduction-operation-20181018
https://tendaily.com.au/news/australia/a181019rue/more-aussie-kids-embroiled-in-international-child-abductions-20181021

And Australia is also changing laws to make international parental child abduction a crime. https://tendaily.com.au/news/australia/a181019rue/more-aussie-kids-embroiled-in-international-child-abductions-20181021

Music Credit – The Beatles ‘Let it be’

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One Reply to “Episode 72. Left behind Grandparents”

  1. Great podcast, I really enjoyed hearing from your parents. It’s very encouraging to hear that your father sought help from a psychologist. I also sought help from a psychologist and it’s the best thing I ever did.

    IMO while a little morbid, it’s worth raising the issue that my father and grandmother died roughly three years after our daughter’s abduction. I am greatly disappointed that our daughter was robbed of the chance to make the most of those final years of their lives. While my Japanese is somewhat functional, one of the hardest things I’ve had to do is break the news while trying to describe what had happened in my functional but eeem… less than perfect/nuanced Japanese (all with her step dad aggressively leaning over us, showing zero sympathy and refusing to give us a moment alone).

    My mum’s now in her mid-70’s and her health is good. However, the step-father quite aggressively prevents her from attending visitations and while I hate to do it… how many healthy years does my mum have left for my daughter to enjoy with her? IMO parental abduction is far more than simply taking away one’s parents… parents are just the tip of the iceberg. My daughter will probably never get to see much of her extended family thanks to this abduction because they’ll be dead by the time she’s old enough to choose for herself. It’s pretty grim and unfortunate because family’s an important part of one’s identity.

    Coincidentally, Let it Be is kinda the de facto theme song going through my mind when I visit my daughter in Japan. Long story short, while enjoyable, visits can be mentally draining. When I visit, a very kind Japanese friend (who is about the age of your parents and self-taught himself English while working as a bank manager) always takes me out for a meal and karaoke. I can never visit Japan and do karaoke without singing Let it Be so it’s always ringing through my head during my last night or two in Japan. That and music box versions of Smashing Pumpkins tunes that my favourite ryokan plays on repeat while I thoughtfully paddle around in its majestic onsen. These things (and people like my friend) help remind me that Japan’s a great place, many of its people support me and well… there’s hope for my daughter amongst all this.

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